In an age of constant change, instant gratification, and fleeting connections, the word “commitment” seems to carry more weight, and more fear, than ever before. Whether in relationships, vocations, or even faith, many people hesitate to say “yes” with conviction. They prefer to “keep options open,” waiting for a perfect certainty that never comes. But beneath this hesitation lies a deeper spiritual unease, one that the Church must help the faithful confront.
Commitment anxiety is not new. It has always been part of human frailty. Yet today, it has become widespread and culturally accepted. We glorify freedom from responsibility as a virtue, confusing it with liberation. We delay marriage indefinitely, shy away from priestly or religious vocations, and treat parish involvement as optional. The problem is not that people do not want to commit, it is that they are afraid to. And that fear, if left unhealed, can erode our spiritual lives.
From a Catholic perspective, commitment is not merely a social contract. It is an act of faith. Every vocation, whether marriage, priesthood, religious life, or single life, requires trust in God’s providence. Saint John Paul II once said that freedom is not the ability to do whatever we want, but the ability to do what we ought. True freedom finds its fulfillment in self-giving love. Anxiety about commitment, therefore, often reflects a misunderstanding of freedom itself.
Modern culture teaches that love must always feel good, that success must come without sacrifice, and that permanence is a trap. Yet Christ teaches the opposite. The cross, the ultimate symbol of commitment, shows that love and sacrifice cannot be separated. In Matthew’s Gospel, Jesus calls His disciples to deny themselves, take up their cross, and follow Him. He does not promise an easy journey, but a faithful one. The Catholic vision of commitment, then, is not about comfort, it is about covenant.
Marriage, for example, is a sacred covenant that mirrors the love of Christ for His Church. When a man and woman vow to love each other “till death do us part,” they are not making a romantic promise based on emotion. They are entering a divine covenant sealed by grace. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that this covenant is indissoluble because it reflects the unbreakable bond between Christ and His Bride. Commitment anxiety in relationships, therefore, is not simply a psychological issue, it is a spiritual one. It reveals a fear of self-gift, of losing autonomy, and ultimately, of trusting God’s plan.
The same can be said for those discerning religious vocations. Many young Catholics today feel called to serve but hesitate to take the final step. They wonder, “What if I make the wrong choice? What if I am not strong enough?” These are honest questions, but they must be answered in prayer, not paralysis. Pope Francis reminds us that vocational discernment is not about certainty but about courage. God does not ask for perfection before we begin. He asks for willingness. When Mary said “yes” at the Annunciation, she did not know all that awaited her. Her commitment was born not from clarity, but from faith.
This anxiety about commitment is also evident in everyday discipleship. Many Catholics hesitate to serve in parish ministries, to volunteer consistently, or to take leadership roles in the community. The reason is often the same, fear of being tied down, fear of failure, fear of giving too much. Yet commitment is what makes community flourish. Without it, parishes become revolving doors rather than spiritual homes. The early Church grew not because of grand strategies, but because believers were steadfast “in the breaking of the bread and in the prayers.” Their commitment was radical, visible, and transformative.
It is important to recognize that anxiety itself is not sin. It is a human response to uncertainty. The problem arises when fear becomes the guiding principle of our decisions. Saint Paul understood this struggle well. He wrote, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” The remedy to commitment anxiety is not blind optimism. It is trust born of prayer. When we surrender our fears to Christ, He replaces hesitation with peace.
Moreover, the sacraments are divine antidotes to our modern restlessness. In the Eucharist, we encounter the total commitment of Christ who gives Himself completely, body and soul. In Confession, we are reminded that our failures do not disqualify us from grace. In Confirmation, we are sealed with the strength of the Spirit to persevere in faith. These sacred realities anchor us in a world that glorifies impermanence. They teach us that commitment is not a burden but a blessing, a way of participating in God’s eternal fidelity.
The family, too, plays a crucial role in shaping attitudes toward commitment. When children see parents who honor their marriage vows, persevere through trials, and pray together, they learn that love is steadfast. When they witness forgiveness and patience in the home, they discover that commitment is not about perfection but perseverance. Families that reflect God’s faithfulness become schools of trust in a generation raised on temporary pleasures.
In the end, commitment anxiety will not disappear through self-help books or motivational slogans. It must be healed at the level of faith. It begins with the recognition that we are made for communion, with God and with one another. The human heart longs for lasting love, not endless options. To commit is to say, “I choose to love, even when I do not fully understand.” It is to echo Christ’s words in the Garden, “Not my will, but yours be done.”
Perhaps this is the challenge of our time, to rediscover the sacred beauty of saying “yes” and meaning it. The Church, in her wisdom, does not rush people into commitments but invites them to discern prayerfully, guided by grace. Yet she also reminds us that love cannot grow in fear. It grows in fidelity.
Commitment is not the enemy of freedom. It is the fruit of it. When we choose to stay, to serve, to love, and to trust, we become most like the God who never withdraws His promise. In a world that celebrates the temporary, the Christian call is to permanence. The world needs witnesses who show that commitment is still possible, and still beautiful.
So, is commitment anxiety the new normal? Perhaps it is. But for those who follow Christ, normal is not the goal. Holiness is. And holiness always begins with a faithful “yes.”
