Love, in every age, has been surrounded by questions of value, sacrifice, and exchange. But in our present world, the loudest question remains: does money still dictate relationships? The answer, if we are honest, is complex. To ignore the economic realities of modern life is to be naïve; yet, to reduce love to financial convenience is to betray its very essence. Catholic teaching offers a path that brings clarity to this tension, reminding us that love is not a commodity to be bought or sold, but a gift rooted in divine grace.
Love and Money in Today’s World
Across cities and villages, the influence of money on relationships is unmistakable. From wedding preparations to daily family needs, finances shape decisions in profound ways. For some, the pursuit of wealth becomes the foundation for choosing a spouse. Others see financial stability as a precondition for marriage. This modern lens suggests that money does not simply support love—it often seems to dictate its boundaries.
But is this truly love? Or is it merely a transaction cloaked in romance?
The Catholic Church, in her wisdom, teaches that authentic love must be free, total, faithful, and fruitful. None of these four pillars of true love places wealth as a requirement. Money may provide comfort, but it cannot sustain the covenant of marriage.
The Illusion of Security
It is undeniable that financial resources can create a sense of security. A young man may hesitate to marry until he has a stable job. A young woman may feel pressured to choose a partner whose financial future looks bright. Parents, too, may favor suitors with wealth as a guarantee for their daughter’s comfort.
And yet, countless stories prove that riches alone cannot protect relationships. Wealth without love becomes a gilded cage. As Proverbs 15:17 reminds us: “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fatted ox and hatred with it.” Money may build houses, but only love makes them homes.
Marriage: A Covenant, Not a Contract
The Church has always guarded the truth that marriage is a sacrament, not a business deal. In canon law and Catholic teaching, marriage is a covenant—a sacred bond in which man and woman freely give themselves to each other for life. This covenant mirrors Christ’s love for the Church: selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional.
When money becomes the chief criterion for choosing a spouse, love is cheapened into a contract. The question shifts from “How can I give myself to this person?” to “What can I gain from this person?” Such thinking undermines the very sacramentality of marriage.
Love as Gift, Not Commodity
Pope Francis, in Amoris Laetitia, warns that relationships shaped primarily by materialism fall into the trap of consumerism: using people as objects for personal satisfaction. Genuine love, by contrast, is rooted in gift. Love gives without counting the cost, because love reflects Christ Himself, who gave His life freely for humanity.
This teaching strikes at the heart of our cultural struggles. To love is not to calculate returns on investment. It is to risk, to trust, and to pour oneself out for another.
Poverty and the Cross
The Catholic perspective does not ignore economic realities. Poverty can bring heavy burdens to marriages: arguments about expenses, the stress of unpaid bills, the shame of unmet needs. Yet, even here, the Church offers wisdom. Poverty, embraced with faith, becomes a share in the Cross of Christ.
Saint Joseph and the Blessed Virgin Mary lived in simplicity. The Holy Family’s example reminds us that holiness is not measured by possessions, but by fidelity to God’s will. In their poverty, they welcomed Jesus, the richest gift of all.
This does not mean couples should neglect prudent financial planning. Rather, it means couples should not allow money to overshadow love’s deeper call: to serve, to forgive, to remain faithful.
Wealth Without Generosity
If poverty brings trials, so too does wealth bring temptations. A wealthy couple may be tempted to trust more in their bank accounts than in God’s providence. They may isolate themselves from community, using luxury as a shield.
But Catholic teaching insists that wealth must be accompanied by generosity. As St. Paul admonishes in 1 Timothy 6:17–18: “Tell the rich in this world’s goods not to be proud, and not to rely on so uncertain a thing as wealth, but rather on God… They are to do good, to be rich in good works, generous, and ready to share.”
A marriage where wealth flows without charity risks becoming sterile. A marriage where even little is shared with love becomes abundant in God’s eyes.
The True Economy of Love
In the world’s economy, everything has a price. But in the economy of salvation, love is beyond price. Christ has paid the full measure, not with gold or silver, but with His blood. In this divine economy, relationships are sustained not by financial worth, but by sacrificial love.
The challenge, then, is for couples to re-align their priorities. Money is a tool, not a master. When it serves love, it builds harmony; when it rules love, it destroys intimacy.
Preparing Young Hearts
What, then, should the Church teach young people preparing for marriage? First, that material preparation is important but not ultimate. Yes, it is wise to have a stable source of income. Yes, it is prudent to discuss financial responsibilities. But these must never outweigh the spiritual preparation for marriage: prayer, discernment, chastity, and mutual sacrifice.
The young must be taught that true success in marriage is not measured by wedding glamour or bank accounts, but by faithfulness to vows. After all, it is not wealth that sustains marriages through sickness, old age, or suffering—but love grounded in God.
A Call to Society
Society too has its part to play. When we idolize wealth, we risk pushing our youth into relationships founded on vanity. Media, advertisements, and even family pressures reinforce the false notion that love is proven by how much one spends.
The Catholic response is countercultural. We must remind ourselves and others that love is dignified by sacrifice, not by extravagance. The joy of family life springs not from lavish spending but from the small daily acts of kindness, forgiveness, and fidelity.
Love Beyond Price
So, does money still dictate relationships? In many ways, yes—it still shapes choices, expectations, and pressures. But the Gospel challenges us to see deeper. For Christians, and indeed for all who seek authentic love, money must never be the foundation.
The economics of love is not about wealth exchanged, but about hearts offered. In the Catholic vision, love is both cross and crown: a sacrifice that leads to glory. And in this vision, we discover the greatest truth of all—love, when rooted in God, is richer than any treasure on earth.
