Alpha point…
I am moved to reflect on the sanctity of life, and the pains that many have had to go through because of the issues surrounding abortion. I am not going to reflect on relationship issues or premarital sex here (I have written about these on other occasions).
I’ve had the privilege of seeing deep into people’s souls; into their pains, sorrows and distress. I have also been privileged to be part of that defining ‘moment’ in their lives when they made decisions that could only have been engendered by grace, no more no less. These moments are always wonderful for them and for me. I do not want to go knee deep into all the legal and religious arguments surrounding the issue of abortion. We’ve had too many of those already. I just want to reach out to someone somewhere who’s genuinely faced with having to make the very difficult decision to either keep or abort a baby. Someone who’s not interested in taking the life of a baby but feels she has little choice. Someone who’s very scared she won’t be able to face the world with a protruding stomach. Someone who’s so afraid that parents, friends, even enemies would judge her and laugh at her. This reflection is for that someone who feels so lost, so pained, so hurt, and so alone. I intend to comfort that someone; I hope she’ll realise that all is not lost, and that abortion need not be the way out. Yes, even if that someone is YOU.
The dilemma…
I am not a lady, so I cannot claim to even remotely understand what many of our ladies go through when they are faced with the dilemma of either keeping or aborting a baby. I cannot claim to understand the deep emotional involvement that women have with that little ‘spark’ once it begins to grow within them. I can only hint at how painful the decision to abort a baby must be for the mother. I’m not concerned with media campaigns and propaganda. I’m not concerned with misinterpreted dogmas and doctrines, I am concerned about people; human beings who have to make real decisions and live with them. I am concerned about a DILEMMA; the dilemma of “unwanted babies”.
Unwanted babies! Is there any such thing?
The fear of responsibility is innate. Many people are cowards from Adam. Perhaps boys and men are more likely to run away from responsibilities of a sexual nature; responsibilities that directly relate to the decision to keep an ‘unwanted’ baby. This is probably because they don’t have to carry the ‘telltale signs’ of pregnancy. Let’s look at it this way. Situations abound that could add the prefix ‘unwanted’ to babies. Any situation that eliminates consent, like rape, or deliberately inducing a partner into sexual intercourse through the use of alcohol or hard drugs, or both, fits into this category. We can also include situations that many prefer to call ‘mistakes’ or ‘accidents’ because foreplay ‘got too far’. What started as mere sexual pleasure or ‘fun’ soon becomes too intense to bring to a screeching halt and before you know it, voila! Conception! Then the wait begins. Days when the ‘victim’ begins to beg God for her period. Then the period never comes, and the rest is history…
Please consider that innocent baby…
I know it’s difficult to make the decision to keep a baby when one isn’t prepared. It’s even worse when the person responsible refuses to take responsibility. It’s a lot worse still when pregnancy occurs as a result of rape, or incest, or any other similar situation that boycotts consent. It’s true that the easiest option and the easiest way out is usually abortion. One could argue that since the child is not yet many months old it could be flushed out. One could go on to say that it’s better not to be born at all, than to be born out of wedlock. Again, we could even argue that the woman decides whatever she likes with her body.
But Hey! Here’s the thing! That little life; that innocent life growing in there feels safe inside the mother’s womb. It doesn’t know under what circumstances it was conceived. All it knows is that it’s life has begun. It’s true that no one may want it. It’s true that life may not be too easy for the child once it’s born. But this little life doesn’t know about any of these. So it’s sad, it’s really sad when this little baby, oblivious of everything else, begins to battle with pills, with instruments that are meant to bring its young life to an end. I try to imagine how panicked this little life must feel, right there in the supposed comfort of its mother’s womb, struggling to live, fighting for life, being punished for something it knows nothing about…
The abortion myth…
It’s true that many say that abortion is an easier way out. Is it? Really? I have come across many ladies who have been through the pains and rigours of abortion. Some severally. But I’m yet to come across a single one of them who truly believes (deep down) that her decisions to abort were for the best. I’m yet to come across one of them who doesn’t admit to the hurts (physical and emotional) and traumas of the experience. In the end, many of these young girls regret their actions. They really wished they had been strong enough to keep their babies…
A way out?
What about rape, or incest, or other circumstances that exclude consent? What about situations where the baby just can’t be brought up by the young to be mother? My dear friends, I’ve seen many strong ladies decide to carry their babies to full term no matter the cost. When we see these ladies with swollen stomachs we’re quick to judge them. We laugh at them and call them names. Sometimes we may think we’re smarter than they are. What pains me most is the fact that the same young men who refuse to take responsibility for their sexual actions, and the same young ladies who’d rather consider the easier option of abortion would usually laugh the most. It’s so sad. Please be strong. Don’t be discouraged. Abortion is a way, but it’s never the right way out.
If someone is reading this, and that someone wants to keep her baby, and she doesn’t know how to go about it, please you could speak with someone you trust. Your priest, your pastor, your close friend. I’m sure you’ll find understanding and love. These persons could find organizations and institutions that are genuinely willing and ready to work with young expectant mothers; from counselling services, to accommodation, to prenatal and post natal care. And if you’ve had abortions, it’s never too late to make a return journey to God. Pope Francis has even made the coming year an extraordinary year of mercy (December 8th 2015 – November 16th, 2016). So there’s so much opportunity for repentance and coming back to the Father.
On our part, we need to learn to develop the pro life attitude. A baby is a blessing. Babies are always gifts. ALWAYS. God knows, that’s why conception can take place even in the most unwanted situations. We need to learn to accommodate and encourage those who truly need to deal with the abortion dilemma. We need to let them realise that they are not alone. We need to let them see that keeping the baby might be the best decision they’d ever make, despite all odds. Are you with me?
Omega Point…
We’ve tried to briefly consider the issue of unwanted pregnancies and the abortion dilemma. We’ve established that although abortion may seem like the easy way out, it’s really not, since victims of abortion go through a lot of trauma. Many have even died in the process. In the end, it pays to keep a baby alive. It pays to protect life, especially that of those so innocent that they rely on our sense of compassion and generosity to keep them safe. I leave you with the words of the prophet Jeremiah: “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations” (Jer. 1:5). Do you still think God does not know about every living foetus?
Finally, if you disagree with me, please make sure it’s for all the right reasons.
God bless you.
