We need to break through the stereotypical constructs we have caged ourselves in, and rise towards greater pedestals of thought and action. Unfortunately, however, some men and women have made it almost impossible for us to do so.
Lexicons define ‘sex appeal’ as the ability to excite people sexually’. That’s all there is to it.
Today, the average male and female teenager feels compelled; nay, CONDITIONED, to ‘reveal’ some flesh on social media. Today’s young lady wants us to see blossoming cleavages, uncovered bosoms and scantily clothed thighs. She feels this is what it means to be ‘sexy’. The average female teenager therefore spends so much time and energy worrying about whether or not she looks sexy, and how much she’s able to sexually excite others. This has to change.
Some may argue that this is predominantly a feminine thing. Not anymore. We have some of the male folk going unclad on social media these days too. From exposed, deliberately oiled abs, to boxers hanging well below the waist line. Some do it under the guise of modeling. Others to seduce social media newbies. Yet others, out of plain ignorance and negative peer influence.
Women bring a certain dynamism to the world that we can never really capture in words. It is sad that in some quarters, we still like to refer to the Eve story and condemn women a lot; blaming them for all the ills we have in society. We forget that we’re all products of society.
Nonetheless, it suffices to say that women are indeed a blessing to our world. Some of the best minds in several professional fields today are women. Most of the world’s sacrifices have arguably been made by women, and unquantifiable contributions have been made by women to the fields of science and technology, as well as the environment (as far as nature and nurture are concerned).
Many of these successful women have had to labour under negative, non conducive stereotypical constructs to get where they are. Some of them had to bear sexual assault and other chauvinistic behaviours from their male colleagues to be able to ascend the professional ladder.
However, there is a new generation of women that have become defiant. Rather than continue fighting the status quo, they have decided to tap into their sexiness and overcome the world. They have turned their weapon on us. These are the women who have been swept away by ‘the craze for the sex appeal’.
These women now take pride in the depth of the sex appeal they are able to muster. And worse still, they enjoy how much ‘distraction’ they can cause with their new found, and very much loved “sex appeal.” This becomes a yardstick for just about anything else. So a young lady that’s not “sexy” is lost in a world of classlessness and boredom.
The media hasn’t helped us at all in this regard. We have been so overexposed to the sexual appeal of women, we are now under the impression that women aren’t good for anything else but sex.
Someone wants to advertise tomatoes, and the best media portrayal is that of a semi-naked lady wheeling the barrow of tomatoes around, while the male folk follow her with cat calls?
I remember one advert I used to see years ago. I can’t even remember what was being advertised in it, but after all these years, I can still recall that it was about a certain beautiful lady who made men lose their senses. One fell inside a gutter; another left the shoe he was polishing and began polishing the floor; yet another forgot he was oiling a car engine, and ended up spraying the oil all over his colleague…
You see the problem?
That’s how a society teaches its citizens not to respect women. That’s how a society engenders a culture of the sex appeal.
But this is not even the issue here. The greater problem lies in the kind of psychological culture that the sex appeal craze cultivates. Teenagers now feel they must be attractive in a sexual and sensual way, and they go all out, striving to achieve it.
I may be attracted to ‘Slay Queens’, but I would rather hang around ladies with cutting edge ideas, than spend all day admiring physical attributes. Beauty fades. Brains do not.
What about you? I know there’s so much noise about pink lips, six packs, chiseled chest and protruding manhood. But would you stay in that relationship if the man is a brainless chauvinist pig?
The ‘sexiness’, if at all, should complement character, personal ingenuity and industriousness. Not the other way round.
When a young lady’s thought patterns do not move beyond how much impression she is able to make on the male folk, or how much sexiness she is able to exude on the go, then we have a generation of ‘sexy idiots’ on our hands (please pardon my language).
Hence, concepts like ‘woman power’, and ‘woman sex appeal’ must move beyond sex appeal to encapsulate something much more substantial. Those who find you ‘damn sexy’ may not consider you when they need bright and revolutionary minds.
Those who submit to your ‘power’ in the bedroom, may not remember you where the more important pawns that shape the world are being moved across chessboards. And no matter how sexy you look, or how much of a professional seductress you have become, remember that busts and hips don’t RULE the world. Ideas do.
So when your mind is devoid of innovative solutions to the world’s issues, and your aspirations do not transcend ‘looking sexy’, the fact remains that you are essentially impoverished.
Those who kill themselves over sex appeal will never ascend any pedestal taller than beds, neither will they rule any space other than bedrooms.
Today, let’s get our priorities right!
God bless you!
© Oselumhense Anetor, 2017. Revised, June 2020.