This was what a friend said to another, in answer to the question he was asked on how best to relate his unfaithfulness to his spouse.
Majority of men believe women love lies. So they keep feeding them those lies till something breaks and they’re caught red handed. It’s a web. A vicious web, and most of us are caught in it. However, most men aren’t ready to repent – at least not yet.
In my reflections on this matter, I’ve come to realise that it’s a case of perceptive misunderstanding. You know what that means nah? But just in case you don’t, I’ll explain.
Women do not actually love lies. The very idea is a myth. Women, like everyone else, hate lies; especially lies relating to unfaithfulness and/or infidelity in relationships.
Men believe women love lies because women are naturally very trusting. When women fall genuinely in love, they develop unshakable faith in the beloved. They do this to the point that they fail to realise they’re being lied to, if/when it happens. Even when they suspect foul play, they keep hoping they’re wrong.
So what men misinterpret as ‘women’s love for lies’ is actually ‘genuine trust’. Here lies the error in perception. In a seminar I had with a group of young people, a young boy told me he didn’t think women loved lies. He however was of the opinion that women can’t handle the truth, and it was better to ‘protect them from that truth’ by telling lies to them. This is the problem.
Here’s an example that might help drive home the point:
I’m a married man, with a stunning secretary working in my office. Everyday she gives me hints (green lights). She knows I’m married, but that does not seem to deter her one bit. I also know what she’s getting at, but who does not like the attentions of a pretty lady?
So I ignore the warning signs and refuse to discourage her from hitting on me. We even start sexting. I have the option of telling my wife about my ‘attention-seeking’ secretary, but I know she’ll only get worried. Besides, she could become all jealous and overly suspicious. I don’t want that, so I refuse to tell her anything.
The time comes when my flirtatious secretary starts getting my attention, so I start sexting with her too. Before long things escalate and voilà! My secretary turns to my mistress. I start taking lessons in extra marital affairs class 101. When my wife starts complaining about my moods and late nights, I refuse to admit the truth. I even lose my temper sometimes and swear on my loving mother’s grave.
Then she catches me red handed. That’s when I start blaming the devil. I even give her some portion of the blame for not knowing I’ve been lying to her all the while…
Get the picture?
So do women ACTUALLY love lies? Is it that they can’t handle the truth? Isn’t it just better to say the truth and damn the consequences?
Here, it’s better not to listen to Simi’s song, “lie to me, if the truth go break my heart o…” It’s even best to avoid situations like the one above; situations that would make one want to lie in the first place. If you’re in a relationship/marriage, don’t do things you can’t tell your spouse. If you can’t tell, you can’t do. Anything else is from the evil one.
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© Oselumhense Anetor, 2018.